One Team, One Goal

I just heard a news that a couple close to me needs another financial bail-out because the wife is in deep debt AGAIN. It's been a vicious cycle and have heard the same news for the nth time and I said they don't need another bail-out but a total financial setup makeover. Someone needs to be controlled.

Which takes me back in time when husband and I were newly weds in Japan, we didn't have kids yet and we were both working. Almost everyday before I go home, I'd pass by the endless shops inside the train station and everyday, I'd be bringing a new bag, shoes, clothes or beauty goodies and husband would always be mad at me and I'd answer him, "eh bakit naman? I'm spending MY OWN money anyway!" which would make him angrier. Because for him the moment we married each other, everything we earn or owe individually should be pooled together, in Tagalog, walang kanya-kanya. 

I grew up in a different family setup so this pooled-in thing was really difficult for me to understand. It was a big adjustment period for us, we'd fight, I'd write him a long emotional email and he'd reply with an even longer email. It felt like a tug of war between Miss Shopaholic and Mr. Budget but he never gave up making his point in between my dramas until we reached a compromise where I agreed to live within a budget and he learned to spend a bit more.

Now we call it Team Work where we set one goal and both of us work for it. I have stopped working for years now but not once have I felt that I never contributed because when you see your family as one team, contribution can be in a form of money and time. We follow a strict budget and to achieve that someone has to do some things in order to save money, like I cook everyday(saving $35/meal), I clean the house (instead of hiring a cleaning lady that costs $200/week) or like I learned how to mow and clean the backyard which normally costs $500 for 6 hours if I hire the sexy gardeners again. Not to mention the $2000 per month we save from Quality childcare. So imagine if I didn't learn how to cook, and refused to have my newly manicured nails get dirtied that kaartehan will easily cost more than $1000 right there. I have full access to our account, anytime and any day I can take the train to San Francisco and swipe the credit card for that Louis Vuitton bag in Bloomingdale's but I don't do that because I'm fully aware of what impulsiveness could cost us. You see, my husband could earn $1 Million a year but if I didn't change the way I spend we would still end up penniless.

I think Team Work should be the basic foundation of a partnership, you have to master that before you can achieve anything together. From there, you'll get to realize owning a house, put the kids to school, invest for retirement and travel. Going back to the couple that I have mentioned earlier, the husband is the most hardworking person I know, he juggles his day job with his numerous sidelines while the wife spends 2,500 PHP for a toddler's slippers at a whim. I wonder how they'd ever achieve buying a house or putting the kids to school if one of them spends more than what both of them earn. As they say, "you're only good as the company you keep".

It doesn't matter if you're a single or double income family as long as you compromise, work and think together, anything is achievable and what you have now is more than enough.